Reflections

Here pondering and just starring at myself in the mirror;
Sometimes I feel infatuated with my own image.

It always seems to be a stranger starring at me from a far off place... 

I guess I don't spend much time really actually looking at myself.

But when I bring myself into the moment and just look, it feels so surreal

The way I move, the way my hair falls, how my eyes appear so lifeless and blank.

Maybe that sounds vain. Yet I spend so much time wishing I looked like someone else. 

In my reflection I don't see pretty, I don't get beautiful and mostly I don't feel sexy.

Actually I don't see much of anything good or bad.

There are just simply things. 

There are things that I will love and hate, things that will change and fade and fester as they are. 

Its hard to take pictures of magnificent moments because if you truly want to experience something wonderful you can not capture it; it needs to breathe and move through its own fated pattern of change. Why taint the moment getting caught up in reaching for what is already in your hand. 

This is why the most meaningful things are said into the empty air so someone can hear them as they tumble out in their initial imperfect and jumbled mess. They inhabit space, but only for a moment, then they become a precious memory; But that first raw moment can never be duplicated. And that is also why the most meaningful things are all too often forgotten.